Single Ladies

All the single ladies:
Put your hands up.
If you’ve had enough of this “being single” stuff-
Enough of empty promises and emotional handcuffs;
Of one night stands and justdon’tgiveafuck - type "relationships"
If you’ve had enough of arrangements, with no strings attached -
Of waiting patiently for the Creator to deliver your match.

Single.
Ladies.

If you’re tired of people asking why you’re not married yet?!
If you find yourself in a rut - quietly wrestling with regret.
Single ladies: Put. Your. Hands. Up.

Being single sure makes a nice jingle with Beyonce bouncin’ in a jumpsuit
But I’m so tired of women frontin’ -- like they’re not in hot pursuit
As if landing a spouse wasn’t really in your plan...
Girl, please - you know your lonely ass wants a man.

You can continue “doing you” and make the case to celebrate -
Yet another weekend come and gone without a single date.
Sorry, sis’ - I can’t relate.
And I’m not even trying to hate -
It’s a challenge sometimes to convey the simple fact at hand:
I’m a STRONG, empowered woman, yet and still - I need a man...
I actually pity single ladies who don't quite understand.

As it turns out, fellow singles - I’ve come to call your bluff
on that bullshit “I’m-okay-with-being-single” lame rebuff.
I know it’s hard to face, because we’ve been oh so convincing
Yet the superwoman myth actually needs some sound dispensing.
Which doesn’t equate frailty or admission of defeat.
Because the truth of the matter is - relationships?...
Well, they can be kinda sweet.

I’m talking grownfolk love, trust, honor, and commitment -
I’m talking compromise, accepting faults, and working through resentment.
I’m talking good times and bad times, laughter and tears -
Affection that keeps you grounded through the succession of years.
Through thin line trials and “help me, Jesus” tribulation,
I need a witness for 'no one-can-love-you-like-me' revelation.
And when the dust has settled - and a brand new day has dawned,
I’m talking unconditional love that will wrap you in its arms.

And I know I’m not alone.

Single ladies - admit it, we’re vexed with lingering questions and insecurities-
About our single state of being and what precisely it all means.
So this is for my single ladies who have finally had enough.
Who are tired of pretending - who are always acting tough.
Because there’s something divinely inspired when two beings become one.
Single ladies - please excuse me, if you don’t get where I’m coming from.

When it comes to playing solitaire - see, I’m really not a fan.
Ladies, know it’s not a sin to be the great woman behind a good man.
And honestly, real talk -- if you truly have his back,
I have a hard time figuring out exactly where else you'd be at.
But let’s not miss the point - this poem is not about submission.
I’m just reminding single ladies not to give up or to give in.
Persevere through the terrain that we all know as single life,
A necessary path traversed from single girl to wife.

Single ladies. Put your hands up.


Copyright by Chandra Montgomery, 2011

Tyler Perry needs a....HUG

I will admit: I have neither seen the video nor heard the audio associated with Tyler Perry's apparent tantrum at a recent Hollywood press conference to promote his newest Madea installment. What I have done, though is play an imaginary audio track in my mind as well as a wondrously vivid visual of Mr. Perry's breaking point, replete with limp-wristed swats, pursed lips, and the requisite teeth sucking. I think it's safe to say that both versions are unbecoming a movie mogul...

"I'm so sick of hearing about damn Spike Lee," Perry said during a California press conference on Tuesday. "Spike can go straight to hell! You can print that. I am sick of him talking about me."

Me: Really?
Me: Straight to hell, huh?
Me: ...Okay.

Tyler Perry is a Forbes heralded "next generation billionaire". He just inked a multiyear distribution deal with Lionsgate and odds are he will win the box office this weekend. Scratch that - he will KILL the box office this weekend. He should be shouting "Hallelujer!" - not "Spike can go straight to hell". Seriously, in Charlie Sheen-speak, Tyler - in a word - is "WINNING". His movie box office sales alone have grossed more than a half billion! One would hope that this brother would be so self assured and at peace with the culmination of his life's work and vision made manifest in his rags to riches success story that he wouldn't be phased by detractors. But mogul status be damned - he is "sick" of people talking about him - especially Spike Lee. Apparently the one thing a billion dollars can't buy is a thick skin. At 40 (maybe 41, I'm not keeping track...), I actually need for Tyler Perry to slam not give a flip what anyone says about him or his veritable entertainment empire -- which is all that it is anyway: it's entertainment, folks (remember Talent? - "it's just comedy"...). Even when he aspires to the whole art/life metaphor - it's just...entertainment.

And it is an empire, love it or hate it. On the other hand, if he can't handle the critiques and criticism, then maybe he needs to invest a fraction of his fortune in a reputable M.F.A. program and be about the business of serious film making. Now, I'm not convinced that it's in him -- but I really couldn't. care. less. The truth is - no disrespect intended - "serious" can't even be loosely associated with the general tenor of Tyler's movies and he shouldn't be surprised that someone noticed. Nor should he be offended if they had something less than polite to say about it for that matter. Despite my own bias and literary snobitude, I'll even cop that I can appreciate some (not all) of what Perry seems to be trying to do. However -at the end of the day, Spike is mostly right.

Where Spike is wrong is in his holier-than-thou approach to admonishing another film maker for not being more like him. If Tyler Perry wants to hit people over the head with his themes, then so be it. If he wants to project images, archetypes, and stereotypes that make some of us cringe...well, that's fine. If someone doesn't like it (that means you, Spike Lee) - they have a simple choice - do not turn to TBS or BET when they air his work and stay out of the theatres for his films and stage plays. It really is just that simple. But for every Perry nay-sayer, there are scores of cast and crew in Atlanta that probably "love them some Tyler Perry". And with good reason. He's not all bad - we know this. Spike knows this.

Of course the reason why this matters so much -- the reason why Spike has gotten all up under Tyler's soft and supple skin is because obviously his opinion matters. Spike's legitimacy, credentials, and respect are ever elusive for Tyler. And THAT just makes him "so sick". That "damn Spike Lee"....At this point, I'd venture the only thing that could mitigate Perry's distress is a hug - from none other than Spike himself. Tyler desperately needs for Spike to be okay with his movies. He needs him to validate the work that he does...on and off the set -- in front of and behind the camera.

You don't need a psychology degree to figure that out.

So I hope that Spike eases up on the brother and stops overlooking a societal nuance that W.E.B. DuBois illuminated in definitive terms decades ago. Spike Lee really ought to leave Tyler Perry alone, regardless of how coontastic his exploits may seem. There's 10% and then there is the other ninety...There's Scorcese and Kubrick and then there is Will Farrell. And honestly, God bless Ricky Bobby...lol.

All jokes aside, though - we need to be okay with the diversity within. I struggle myself with resisting a monolithic mindset rooted in my own (clearly superior, ever righteous, lol) way of knowing. A few of my takeaways from this tasteless and unfortunate public spat: I'm not the only one struggling -- and then of course, the obvious - somebody, anybody -- PLEASE give Tyler Perry a hug!